72.7×60.6cm
Oil on Canvas
彼女にお会いしたきっかけは友人の紹介だった
男性で女装する方ということで興味を持った
最初に見たのは、教えてもらったInstagramの画面の中
セクシーだ
フリルの目立つ下着、挑発的なポーズ、上目遣い、綺麗な顔立ち
コンタクトを取り、絵のモデルをお願いした
快諾してくれた
さあ、そこから頭を悩ませる
どういう場所なら彼女はリラックスしてくれるだろうか
どういうポーズが彼女らしいのだろうか
どんな服装をお願いすればいい？ヌード？
撮影の予定日をにらみ、日々考え続けた
ヒントは彼女のInstagramにあった
結局、人が来ない廃ビルの部屋で
下着姿で撮ることにする
彼女は下着が制服だ、そう感じたのだ
イメージしたポーズもあるが果たしてモデルさんの自然に合うのだろうか
好きに動いてもらうことにした
実際お会いしてみたら身長の高く
すらりとして、いい香りがしそうな方だった
緊張をほぐしたく、カフェで一息つく
お話ししていると、年代が近いのだろうか、話しやすい
友人のようだった
撮影会場についた
プライバシーを損なわないよう、自分は表に出て、部屋で着替えてもらった
思ったより時間がかかる
どうしたかと思い声をかける
返事を受けてはいると、新しい下着に苦戦している様子だった
マゼンダのブラにガーター一式
直視することが憚られ、撮影に集中するために会場の設置に意識を向けた
春なのに十分に暑い
本当は聖書の新しい解釈の作品構想があった
しかしポーズをとってもらおうと思うと、作為的なようで恥ずかしい
やはり彼女のしたいことをしてもらおう
自由に動いてくれる
その動きを追うと、室内に入る光線を受けた筋肉の作る影が美しい
髪を溶かす仕草
窓の外を眺める様子
テーブルに仰向けで撮るポーズ
セクシーだ
彼女も脳内で何かを想像しているのだろうか
頬が赤らみ、目元は熱を帯びる
都度都度、ストップ！と声をかけ姿勢を固定してもらい写真を撮る
どのくらいの時間なのだろうか
撮影の合間合間にカフェで聞いた話を思い出していた
北の海の地域で育ち、昆布を広げていたこと
昆布は滑るらしい
力がいるのだそうだ
「ご自分では男性と女性とどちらだと思うんですか？」
思い切って尋ねた
「どちらも演じている感じなんですよ。それぞれに」
男性として家族の中で生きた時間も彼女だろうし
おしゃれをし綺麗に装い歩く自分も彼女だろう
撮影をしながら見つめると
その人はその人として生きていることが感じられる
撮影の合間にスマホで自分を撮っていた
彼女の目には画面の向こうの人たちが見えているのだろう
撮る姿が、「アタシここにいるよ」
そう言っているようで
思わずシャッターを切った
ここにいるよ
それに反応した私がいる
あとは作品に描いていくだけだ
Here’s the English translation of the artworks.
The opportunity to meet her came through a friend's introduction. I was intrigued because she is a man who cross-dresses.
The first time I saw her was on the Instagram screen that my friend showed me.
She looked sexy.
With eye-catching frilly underwear, provocative poses, and alluring glances, she had a beautiful face.
I reached out to her and asked if she would model for my artwork.
She readily agreed.
Now, I was left pondering how to create an environment where she would feel relaxed.
What pose would suit her best?
What kind of outfit should I request? Nude?
As the scheduled shooting day approached, I kept thinking about it daily.
Hints were found on her Instagram.
In the end, I decided to shoot her in a room of an abandoned building where no one would come.
I felt that her underwear was her uniform.
I had an image of the poses I wanted, but would they suit her naturally?
I decided to let her move freely.
When I actually met her, she was tall, slender, and seemed to have a lovely scent.
To ease the tension, we took a break at a café.
As we talked, perhaps because we were of a similar age, it felt easy to converse.
She felt like a friend.
We arrived at the shooting location.
To protect her privacy, I stepped outside while she changed in the room.
It took longer than I expected.
I wondered what was taking so long and called out to her.
She responded, indicating she was struggling with her new underwear.
She wore a magenta bra with a garter set.
I felt it was inappropriate to look directly and focused my attention on setting up the shooting space.
It was spring, yet it was sufficiently warm.
Initially, I had a concept for a new interpretation of the Bible.
However, when I thought about asking her to pose, it felt forced and embarrassing.
I decided to let her do what she wanted.
She moved freely.
Following her movements, the shadows cast by her muscles in the light coming into the room were beautiful.
The way she tossed her hair.
The manner in which she gazed out the window.
The pose of lying on the table, looking up.
It was sexy. I wondered if she was imagining something in her mind.
Her cheeks flushed, and her eyes seemed to glow with heat.
At intervals, I called out "Stop!" to have her hold a pose for the photograph.
I wondered how much time had passed.
During the breaks in shooting, I recalled the stories she shared at the café.
She grew up in a northern coastal region and once spread kelp.
I learned that kelp is slippery.
It requires strength to handle it.
"Do you consider yourself more male or female?" I asked, taking a leap.
"I feel like I’m performing both," she replied. "For each."
The time she lived as a man within her family is also part of her, and the stylish, beautifully adorned self that walks around is also her.
As I watched her while shooting, I could feel that she was living as herself.
In between shots, she was taking selfies with her smartphone.
I wondered if she could see the people on the other side of the screen.
The act of taking a photo seemed to say, "I'm here."
I instinctively pressed the shutter.
"I'm here."
And I reacted to that.
Now, all that was left was to depict it in my artwork.
